Archive for April, 2017

Check-in | 24 April 2017

I made this a basic check-in even though it will include my OA check-in, as well.

HQ Colorful Grunge Textures
I found this quote while searching for another quote and it really resonated with me. Anyone who destroys themselves with food is not their own friend, at all.  I would not destroy a friend and keep them on a path of slowly Read more…

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OA Check-In | 21 April 2017

imagesThe bingeing has not stopped and I feel like I am on a runaway train.

I DID go to a face-to-face OA meeting Monday night with a friend.   I did feel a little hope after hearing success stories from people.

I mentioned to my therapist yesterday that I seem to have this resistance to giving anything up and yet I fear for my life at the same time so I really do not understand why that is not enough to get me to do what I need to do to live.

😦

OA Check-In | 18 April 2017

disappointed-face
My how time flies while one is not working one’s program!

I started out with a lot of momentum doing my Step Work every day, checking in here every day, and I was doing pretty good with my new food plan.  Last weekend it all went out of the window and I reverted back to my old die hard habits.  And yet the whole time I am continuously trying to remind myself that I am slowly killing myself.  I AM committing suicide – just taking the long road around to the final breath.

A friend of mine and I went to the Bellows Falls OA meeting Monday night for the first time.  I did feel some hope at that meeting.  At the same time, I felt a lot of apprehension, disbelief, etc.

Anyway, I am going to go back over all the emails my sponsor sent out to me and a couple of her other sponsees and see if I can get back on track.

I feel like such a loser.  😦

One of my favorite quotes …

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10 April 2017 Musings

Well, I haven’t had an OA check in for a while.  It might be because I fell off the wagon? and I was too ashamed to post that in a check-in post.  I will post one soon.  I need to do some more work on the steps and I need to stay in touch with my sponsor.

I am truly powerless over this food addiction.  I know for people who do not have this type of addiction they cannot understand why it isn’t as easy as saying, “No.  I do not need this therefore I will not eat it.”   Read more…

Falling Behind Again

I am falling behind again on posting here daily especially my OA posts.  The last few days have not been good for my OA abstinence and step work.  I sometimes wonder if I do actually want this – if I do actually want to change my relationship with food.  It is like I set myself up to fail.

I need to get better at time management. Read more…

OA | Step 2 continuation #2

My sponsor asked me to add two more lists to my group of lists:
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#1 Abstinence Plan – Food & Behaviors
#2 Plan for maintaining abstinence and talking back to ‘non-abstinent’ cravings while working the steps
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#1 Abstinence Plan – Food & Behaviors
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FOOD to maintain abstinence from Read more…

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