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(Please note that this image is an image of a poster for sale on amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Eat-Live-Not-18-Poster/dp/B0197AFZSU?th=1 … I just didn’t want to post it without giving credit.)
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Today I am having a few good moments and a few not so good moments mixed in throughout the day.  I know, intellectually, this is probably the norm for most people.  Emotionally, it feels like an intense roller coaster ride.   I may be 58 years old but I still believe I can, with help, rewire my brain on many levels.   I do have ADHD and supposedly a lower spectrum bi-polar disorder.  I believe these two things probably contribute to this intense feeling where for someone who doesn’t have these, these may just be normal slight ups and slight downs.  I may not be able to change the fact that I have ADHD and bi-polar (lower spectrum) and a few other maladies but I believe I CAN change how I react – via many avenues such as meditation, self-talk, therapy, etc.   I just have to be careful not to complicate my life too much because I long for simplicity.

I just want to lead a normal everyday life now in my older years.  I didn’t lead a normal everyday life for most of my adult life and I probably didn’t really want to.  I think I enjoyed the adventures in life I found myself in.  But, now I really want it.  I really want a simple uncomplicated life.

Part of my journey to rewire my brain is to change my relationship with food.  I am doing this through Overeaters Anonymous (OA).  It helps me to have step work to do and a sponsor to guide me through it all.  Losing weight and being healthy hopefully will be an end result but the main focus and goal is to change the way my brain thinks about food – change my relationship with food.  I truly have to begin to believe that I just need to eat to live rather than live to eat.  It sounds so simple.  Yet for people with binge-eating disorder / overeating disorder, it just isn’t that simple.   It will be a battle, a struggle, and will not be easy.   But I am taking it one moment at at time right now.   That is all I can do at this point – one moment at a time.

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